February 1, 2015
In space, no one can hear you scream. But this ain’t space; its New York harbor, and I am about to get my scream on.
My stomach has been feeling kinda crampy most of the morning. At first I thought it was probably my IBS kickin’ in (Last night’s fish tacos were sketchy) but as you can see, irritable bowels are the least of my problems. I don’t know how in the hell it got inside a me, and frankly, I don’t really care. It’s the little bastards “exit strategy” that’s really pissing me off. I’m like, Really? Ya can’t just use the door like everyone else?
Anyway, I don’t see this ending well for anyone really. I suggest taking your tired, your poor, your huddled masses and getting the hell out of Dodge. Like, right now.